On Balance

I grew up doing gymnastics. I remember when I was little the classes were filled with games. We would do activities like relay races and fun exercises where we split up in teams and ran back and forth throwing socks and leotards and slippers across the floor to try to “clean up” our side. We had wheelbarrow races and would jump all around on the big cushy tumbling mats. But as I got older there was less play and more competition. 

The balance beam was my favorite event. The space was limited, as was the routine. I didn’t have to do a lot (as opposed to a floor routine) but I had to do it well. The four inches of the beam were what defined winning (staying on) from losing (falling off). It was a very fine line. 

For a long time, I thought this was what balance was all about. I’m not just talking about gymnastics, but about life. I thought that finding balance meant following a very fine line, looking forward with confidence, and staying strong in order not to fall off the path. Balance meant consistency, discipline, courage, and strength. Most of all, it meant control. I believed that when my life was finally “balanced”, if I had complete control, I wouldn’t fall or fail or need to look anywhere else than straight ahead. 

But of course, it’s hard to stay on those four inches of beam, literally and figuratively in life. It’s hard to constantly keep control, never waver, never fall. And so then when distractions happen (and they do) and you look down, or wobble on your toes, or lose concentration, and eventually fall off, it’s quite a big fall and can feel like true failure. 

This is what can happen when we train to see life as a matter of competition. The moment we decide winning is fitting ourselves on four inches of wood, four feet off the ground, we also define losing as falling off, losing control. 

This weekend I had friends visiting the cooking school where I work. We used Sunday before the rain to walk around the estate, pick pears from the trees, stroll through the olive groves, and swing on a swing set. 

Swinging is all up and down. (I would love to go all the way around, but I’ve never gotten that far.) It’s hard to define “winning” on a swing set...it's more just the ride. Swing sets are about play, but also about balance. 

You stay rooted to the seat, comfortable where you are, soaring across the air. There are ups and downs and the in-between sensation of rising, falling, and finally floating when you let go and jump off. You need to stay balanced, to stay steady in the seat, but the ropes are there to hold on to and swings are rarely all alone, so friends can join you on either side. Sometimes the rhythm of up and down, back and forth matches with those next to you. Sometimes you swing at your own speed. 

I’ve learned and am learning that balance isn’t about keeping tight control. It’s not about walking the line, staying in the control, not falling off. Finding balance is not a competition, it’s an exercise. It’s a continual up and down that somehow evens out in the end. We go back and forth. Somedays higher, some days lower, sometimes faster, sometimes slower. We are helped by those who push us, those who sit beside us, by the support of the seat and the ropes to hold onto. We use our own legs to guide us up and down, but somewhere along the way, we let our momentum carry us through the ups and downs, without so much effort. 

Balance is navigating life’s changes. Balance is feeling the thrill of flying up high and not fearing coming down. It’s knowing that we can do our part to guide the pace, but can’t completely control the course. It’s embracing the flow, enjoying the company of those on the same ride, and holding on when things get bumpy. Balance is knowing we can push or be pushed to go a little bit further, but we still have to come back down, before we go up. Knowing that balance isn't a straight line gives us the freedom to look around, to lean back, to absorb what is all around us.

What is your experience in staying balanced? How do you benefit from knowing that balance isn’t just walking straight, but embracing the ups and downs, back and forth? And finally, what are you doing to incorporate play into your life? Because if you didn’t know, playgrounds aren’t just for kids (I mean, they are usually sized for children but don’t let that stop you!) 

Happy Tuesday and sending warm wishes from Sicily, 

Henna 

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