On Gratitude
I have to warn you, I’m trying a little caffeine detox these days and I’m feeling it hard. That combined with our clocks changing and coming home to the seaside after two weeks at Anna Tasca Lanza has turned me into a bit of a bear (meaning that I’m in hibernation mode and can’t really tell what day or time it is anymore.) I’m drinking lots of herbal tea, eating chocolate, and staring at the wall (a favorite activity of my sister and I that involves lying in bed staring at the wall. Try it. It will not disappoint.) I have a hefty to-do list in my notebook and yet I’m prioritizing rest right now. I need it.
Today I’d like to write a love letter to gratitude. To the ability to appreciate what we have in front of us, what we have beside us, and what we can imagine for the future. I’d like a little bow of the head, a nod of appreciation, a pat on the back, a shrine of devotion, a standing ovation, a full-on celebration, a warm embrace, a high five….to the practice of feeling grateful.
I had three wonderful experiences in sharing gratitude with others in this past week.
At Anna Tasca Lanza, my other Sicilian “home” and a big part of my work life, we had a beautiful group of guests this past week who joined us with Annemarie Ahearn who runs Salt Water Farm in Maine. None of the participants knew each other (other than those traveling together) but they all knew Annemarie in some capacity…whether having visited her in person or followed her online lessons or read her book. They spent a week with us at Case Vecchie, doing what we do best: cooking, eating, resting, and exploring the culinary and creative life of rural Sicily. Visiting the shepherd, visiting the olive mill, painting ceramics, cuddling the farm dog Felice, and of course….drinking wine.
On our last night, a guest suggested everyone go around and share what they had most enjoyed about the week. One by one, each of the ten participants shared a bit of themselves. The biggest win: coming together. Being able to gather with people who were willing to learn, experience, ask questions, enjoy food, and take each day as a new adventure. There was a true sense of shared connection in that moment.
In my almost 5 years at the school, I have to imagine that I’ve met at least 250 people a year (We have on a usual year about 350 guests come through the school). I remain in touch with a few of them, many of them I remember fondly, and some have probably already slipped through my mind. But hearing the appreciation from this particular group of ten “strangers” was a beautiful experience and a great way to close out our season. It made the already wonderful week even better and the last night's celebration so much more meaningful.
Following the farewell to that group, on Sunday we (my boss at the cooking school, my colleague, and I) were invited even further into rural Sicily to the town of Mussomeli. With around 10,000 inhabitants and terrible roads, Mussomeli feels even more remote than the town that flanks the cooking school where I lived for three years. Mussomeli has had a pretty successful campaign of selling 1 euro homes. (If you haven’t heard of this Sicilian phenomenon, take a look.) It has attracted a small group of foreigners, including an Australian native Danny McCubbin. Formerly part of Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen Foundation (a restaurant and charitable foundation that was started to inspire disadvantaged youths to become chefs), Danny happened upon Mussomeli, found a home, and recently started a community kitchen.
Danny’s enthusiasm and joy are contagious. He speaks little Italian but has managed to create a wonderful community around food. He hosts Sunday lunches open to any member of the community and cooks using donated or surplus foods. He has volunteers both young (students in the local tourism school) and older (local women with a little extra time on their hands) to help cook daily meals that are delivered to the elderly in the town or those in need.
To see Danny’s joy for this small “lost” town helps me regain my own appreciation for this land I’ve chosen to live in. Despite many setbacks and struggles that are inherent in small-town Sicilian life, he shares his gratitude for those who come together around the table, for those who help support him, for those who donate time, food, or their network, to help make his kitchen a success. To see his smile and those around him is a true celebration.
Finally, I have a small group that I’ve continued coaching from my summer Belonging group. There are three women and we meet on Mondays. Yesterday was our last session for a bit. As we wrapped up, they shared their appreciation for having the space to explore, for each other's compassion and support, and for themselves for showing up and being willing to ask hard questions. We are all in different time zones, quite far apart, and have never all met in person, but their gratitude hit home. To hear them reflect on the past six months we’ve shared together was a pure burst of joy. The smiles on their faces were mirrored on mine.
So hats off to each and every one of you who are willing to share your love and joy through gratitude. Who are willing to congratulate yourselves for the hard work you do each day, to celebrate those you find around your table, to appreciate what nature offers us naturally. Expressing gratitude is hard when things feel tough. It’s tiring if it doesn’t come from an authentic gesture. But when it’s heartfelt and true, expressing appreciation is an act of love to ourselves, each other, our world.
Today I’m grateful to see the sun after many grey days. I’m grateful to have cell service and time and space to call friends and family. I’m grateful to those who read this letter each week and to my individual clients and Belonging groups. I’m grateful for choosing to rest today and grateful that I can choose to rest today.
Mostly, I have a full appreciation for the joy that sharing gratitude with others can bring.
Wishing you a wonderful Tuesday and a very happy week ahead!
With love,
Henna