Boredom.

I made a bold claim on Instagram yesterday that I would write about something that begins with the letter B today. So I walked to the supermarket thinking of B words. I went first to food. Bacon. Burgers. Bitter almonds. Bananas. Blueberries. Butter. As I lay in bed last night I started in on: Biking. Baseball. Basketball. Which led me to Michael Jordon and Space Jam and the song “I Believe I Can Fly” which took me to the power of beliefs. I thought about bottles, boyfriends, bats, brooms, baskets (especially Easter baskets but that’s not really in season right now although bunnies might be relevant) and boats (definitely warrant more exploration), and bots and beaches and brooms. I dedicated about three hours of my time yesterday thinking of words, topics, ideas…anything belonging to the letter B.

Now it’s 10:22 on Tuesday morning and I’ve settled on my B-word of the day: boredom. 

I think boredom gets a bad rap. My cultural conditioning from growing up in the USA tells me that success is directly linked to productivity and therefore boredom seems to have become a sign of lack of power or prestige. If you are bored, you aren’t busy. If you aren’t busy, you aren’t worthy. Boredom feels personal. If you’re bored, it is because you are not actively applying yourself well enough, you are not trying hard enough, you lack motivation or inspiration. A quick Google search shows that boredom is correlated with negative consequences: laziness, apathy, lack of interest, depression, frustration…even the devil’s work (idle hands/minds anyone?)

When I settle in to think about boredom, two things come up. The first, a vague recollection of complaining to my mom about being bored when I was little which went something along the lines of:

8-year-old Henna: Mommmmmm. I’m boooooored.
Mom: Go play.
8-year-old Henna: But I’m boooooooored. (Duh. I just said that. Doesn’t she get it?!)
(This will undoubtedly be confirmed or refuted by my mom in the hours following this email and I will make any fact disputes or retractions available next week.)

And secondly, eighth grade. Was anyone else bored in eighth grade? Being 14. You’re kind of not quite a teenager. You’re waiting to get to high school. Academically you can coast because you start being aware that only high school “counts.” Anyone younger seems like a baby. Anyone older seems like an adult. The social situation is out of whack because everyone is somewhere between the emotional maturity of a kindergartener and being a fully-fledged adult but no one seems at the same pace. And math class is the worst. Algebra. So yes, I was bored.

But since I always want to keep these letters as love letters, I’m going to send boredom a little love. I’m going to challenge this idea of passive boredom and invite you to consider what conscious boredom looks like. We’re all adults now so let's be responsible for our own relationship with boredom. We can choose to see boredom as a state of apathy, a lack of success, a fault of our own, or a fault of what surrounds us.

Or…we might just start to cherish boredom. What if we actually prioritize being bored on our own terms? What if we really make space to do nothing? (I mean nothing. Don’t move. Don’t talk. Don’t watch. Stare at the ceiling with no distractions?) Sometimes when we open up this sort of nothing time, the instinct is to carve out time to "relax" which often translates to indulging in pleasurable experiences. Start there, if that is what works. Read all the trashy crime novels, binge-watch Netflix, eat all the brownies you want. You will, I imagine, eventually arrive at boredom as the stories and tastes and idea of relaxing becomes repetitive, predictable, boring. 

And what happens now that you are inviting boredom into your life?

Here’s what I’ve found. When I arrive at boredom with purpose, either by setting aside time to do nothing or over-saturating myself in immediate wants (shows, books, foods)…I arrive at this point where I start thinking about things I should do, I need to do. But wait, we aren’t doing right now. We’re just being. We’re being bored. So I start imagining. I start getting motivated. I push beyond what small actions pop into my mind and start exploring the vision that comes after their completion. I start painting a bigger picture of possibilities and imagining less what I want to accomplish, and more how I want to feel. From there, I can take energy in order to do, but only in the direction I want.

I’m going to go ahead and say it: Boredom is refreshing. Invigorating. Useful in prioritizing. Useful for our imagination, our visioning, our health. Boredom is a place of exploration. Sure, you’ll bump into it in places where it feels uncomfortable (work, relationships, waiting in line at the post office). Why not try to be generous with this boredom? What’s the message it wants to share? What’s the bigger vision it has in store for you? If you don’t want to feel bored, what do you want to feel? How have you experienced boredom in the past? What have you learned from fits of boredom?

What really changes when you invite boredom into your life?

That’s it for today’s B-word. I’d love to hear your thoughts and responses (email me, sign up for a call, send a carrier pigeon, whatever you prefer).

Wishing you a happy end of July and can't wait to hear from you, 

Henna

PS: If you really wanted to hear about another B-word, try these:
The best basketball Netflix series
Bitter Almonds (a beautiful book about Sicily by Mary Taylor Simeti)
A story on blueberries (by me)
The world’s best butter (I stand by this 100%)
Cute Bunnies
A book on bots (I just finished it) 

PPS: Photo is the amazing consequence of boredom at work. Color-coordinated office books.