Paying Attention to Tension
Have you ever tried a prickly pear? In Italy they are called “FIchi d’India” which I don’t think is a fair name as they are neither figs nor from India. They aren’t exactly pears either. But they are prickly. Their insides are florescent: pink, green, or yellow and dotted with tiny black seeds that are annoying when you eat them but aesthetically a nice touch. Native to the Americas, prickly pears have made themselves at home around the world and are actually quite an invasive species. Australians are regretting letting them in, as they’ve taken over much of the native landscape. Sicilians are taken with them, despite the difficulty in harvesting and preparing them. (They use a version of a long broom handle with a tin can on the end to pry off the fruit and then they’re handled quite carefully in order to peel them.)
They taste a lot like sweet, flavored water. Nothing realllllly special. I prefer the look of the plants along the roads and the contrast of the rich green leaves, a cloudless blue sky, and the electric-colored fruit. They reminded me yesterday on the way to Case Vecchie (that other thing I do for work beyond coaching and writing to you) that I was feeling a little prickly myself.
The deeper I go into figuring out how to feel my best, the more attention I pay to myself at my worst. Lately, with the seasons changing, with the move into a new home, the adjustment of “back to work”, I’ve been trying to hone in on what I’m feeling in my body in order to guide my immediate physical and emotional needs. Some of it is the typical aches and pains of getting old (Do anyone else’s feet hurt? I feel like I need orthopedic inserts at 35 and an on-call masseuse...) but much of it is small responses to my environment or mental state.
I’ve always been a jaw clencher when I’m feeling pressed for time or energy or just having a conversation that I don’t really want to have. A yoga teacher taught me a little trick of putting the tip of my tongue on the roof of my mouth to relax my jaw and that’s been a life-saver for me when I check in on feeling the tension.
More recently, I’m noticing this tendency of mine to make a fist when I’m thinking tough thoughts. It is straight out of the dated Arthur memes but it’s also quite on point. According to an old photo of me and my sister in matching outfits and braided hair from when I was four, it’s something I’ve been doing since forever, but I’ve only recently started paying attention to it.
My personal process goes something like this:
Where am I holding my tension?
How can I let go just a bit? (A big breath always helps.)
What POSITIVE message is this tension giving me?
And if I go deeper, what’s even more valuable about this moment?
Finally, where do I want to go from here?
It all starts with a bit of attention. But it ends with valuable insight. I’m continually working on trying to identify what this tension is telling me. Is it a reminder that I need more alone time? Is it a response to inauthentic interactions? Is it simply a nudge to make a more thorough to-do list? To stop putting off a difficult conversation? When I dig deep into this tension, I usually find that it’s not just superficial stress. It’s a real message about what I need, right now, and in the future.
As the seasons change (and so do we) what is making you prickly? Where are you holding your tension? And what is the important message it’s trying to tell you? Slow down? Breathe? Drink water? Surround yourself with people you love? Step forward? Step back? Drink less coffee?
Try taking some time to check in on your tension. Reflect inward and enjoy outwards!
Wishing you a beautiful week ahead and many moments of peace,
Henna