Start Where You Are
Today I have many things on my mind that I’d like to share, but they don't seem to be coming together in the way I had hoped and dreamed. So when things are still confusing, jumbled, even overwhelming, the best advice I’ve been given is, “Start where you are.”
Today I am in Cefalu. The wind changed last night and I woke up around three to shut my upstairs window and pull my beach towel off the clothesline so it wouldn’t blow away. I could already hear the sea starting up and this morning I got up for coffee on the terrace and views of white-capped waves. Coming from New England this is the kind of weather where I’d expect to see the streets full of crunchy leaves, but over here I just hear the echo of the roiling water.
Ironically, while the sea may be at its maximum potency, the public water system in Cefalu is not. In fact, there is no water this morning. I found this out when going to wash my face. I confirmed it by stepping out onto my balcony. My personal local news network is provided by anonymous voices from the neighbors. Today they were yelling about a break in the water main and how there was no water. Good to know it was not planned and I was not the only one unprepared.
Start where you are, with what you have.
I’m all about dreaming big, imagining the life you want, and embracing abundance. At the same time, one of my favorite questions in coaching is, “What might be the very first step towards your vision?” followed by, “And even before that?”
This is all about asking “Where am I now? And what do I have?” If my hopes and dreams include taking a shower today, I might need to settle with swimming in the sea. If my hopes and dreams include eating peanut butter, I might need to order 8 jars of it online to reach a free shipping minimum. (But even before that, I need to research the best peanut butter options in Italy). If my hopes and dreams include finding ways to spend time that feels fulfilling, I might just need to figure out how a fulfilling activity actually feels so I have something to measure against. That might mean trying some new things and paying attention to what is fulfilling right now, where I am.
Today I am starting the second round of “Belonging,” my community coaching group for women. (There’s more room! We start in about 3 hours from when this goes out, so if you wanna sign up, just fill out this form.) Yesterday I met with a small group of women from my first Belonging group who wanted to continue the sessions. I asked them what it was that motivated them to continue with our time together. What inspired them to take an hour out of their week to set aside for themselves and this community?
Once they were able to pinpoint what exactly it was about this space that motivated them to sign on for more, I challenged them to pay attention to where else they are harnessing this motivation. What other activities are they saying yes to? How else do they create space for the things that fulfill them? What does it feel like when we do what we want?
There’s a lot of power in playing with curiosity. In approaching our hopes and dreams with a sense of wonder combined with practicality. In checking in on where we actually are at this moment and what is keeping us here. And the sensory experience of living what we want.
Of course, all of this starts here, now. With where we are and what we have. It starts with the first word on an empty page, the first step towards 10,000 a day, the first bottle of water for brushing teeth, the first hour in a week we carve out for ourselves, the first taste test of peanut butter available at conventional grocery stores. It seems small, but before you know it, you too might have over a kilogram of peanut butter arriving at your home on Wednesday. Or an hour a week to connect with your community that turns into an hour a day completely for yourself. Or be running a marathon. Or writing a novel. All from that small first step.
If you're not sure, start where you are and with what you have, but keep in mind those big dreams.
Wishing you a beautiful week ahead and happy Tuesday!
Henna